Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Revenge of the Catman
REEEEOOOOOOOOWR! I just saw Star Wars Episode III the other day. Not only did the movie suck, the very act of going to the theatre was a hellish experience in and of itself. Never did I see such a concentrated mass of pure FAILURE aggregate in such large numbers to see a piece of shit movie made by another failure. Yes, I know George Suckass made millions of dollars in his lifetime. I don't care. The fact that he was born a male homo sapiens qualifies him as a failure in my book. But by Gawrsh, the type of failure I saw lining up in droves to see the movie outclasses anything I've seen up to this point. Even Ingedork. I would agree with everything Triumph the Insult Comic Dog says about Star Wars geeks. Too bad he's a dog, and even worse, the imitation of a dog. But I digress, I'm already filling up with rage thinking about that son of a bitch.
HSSSSSS! Of course, I didn't pay since I used my sneaky kitty abilities to find a seat right under the only Fine Lady in the movie place. The whole movie made me want to projectile-vomit, but something about its awfulness drew me near. Like how a pile of someone else's upchuck for some reason has an attractive quality. Ugh, no, EWWWW! How could I even think that? But yet it's so... REEOOOOWR, forget it! The whole time, I felt tempted to jump up and piss on Hayden Christensen's onscreen effigy. His very contrived dialogue with Natalie Portman made me want to claw his eyes out and shit in his eyeholes. And unfortunately, the fine fine fine Portman sucked in this movie too. That's OK, baby... I blame Hayden. He's a fucking black hole. He sucks, and everything around him can't help but suck...be sucked... whatever.
I'm so pissed that I'm am personally gonna claw the next person I see wearing a Star Wars shirt to death. REOOOOOOOWR!
# posted by Ingemar @ 11:40 PM 
