Friday, April 15, 2005
New visitors
ROOOOOOWR! We need a change of pace here. Why don't I call all of the ladies within three city blocks for a "KISS THE KATMAN" festiva--
AT LAST I AM FREE!
RAAAAAWR! What the flying fuck are you? A head rat? A freakshow? God's cruel joke to the animal kingdom?
Yikes! A cat!...man. Cats are my natural enemy. Men... well, that's tricky, because I'm half-man as well.
REEEEEOOOOOWR! No shit, shithead! Anyway, prepare to spend the last twelve hours of your material existence in a vat of hydrocholric acid. I mean, MY STOMACH!
Please, you don't have to remind me. You think that spending all those years in a laboratory would have taught me a little about biology. Doctor Surpriso should have put you on "Discard" pile, after all.
ROOOOOWR! Are you talking to me like you know me?
No, I just happen to know how it is a man's head managed to fuse on to a tabby's body of course I KNOW YOU, you good for nothing piece of feline barf. Of course, when you were a kitten, you were too busy enthralling yourself by sniffing ether bottles, while I mastered Latin, Greek, Hebrew, Aramaic and Sanskrit. Oh! And I also composed a 30-instrument symphony.
HSSSSS! Fuck that! You're going down NOW, mousey!
What the hell is going on?
Oh? Pleased to meet you, I'm--
ROOOOWR!
Tomkyou!
Dammit, whydya get in my way?
Thanks, I am "Laboroyuki!" My friends call me "Labby," "Yuki" or "Angelface" for short. Anyway, I'm sure you're wondering why your cat has a man's head.
Pray tell.
Well I'm not sure myself, but I do know that we were both genetically altered by the UCSD Professor of Paranormal Physiology, Anthony Surpriso (Ph.D., M.D.). Living in a lab is no fun, so I decided to escape. I'm surprised that despite my superior mental faculties (superior, at least compared to Tomkyou)...
ROOOOWR!
....I waited longer than him to bail out. At the time, I figured, "If Tomkyou did it, it must be stupid." But, lab life got worse and worse, so I guess what Tomkyou did wasn't so bad after all.
Then why doesn't he remember you?
Tomkyou has a very porous memory.
So that sob story about Tohru...
...was a lie. Yes.
REEOOOOWR! You're dead, mouse!
Tomkyou! Well Labby, feel free to make yourself at home.
You don't mind? I am a rodent, after all. And I do have my rodent tendencies, like scurrying in the night and all that.
You can't make this house any worse. Tomkyou did the bulk of the ruining. And anyone who pisses Tomkyou off as much as you do has to be someone cool.
ROOOOOOWR! Oh, I just hate you both!
# posted by Ingemar @ 9:05 PM 
