Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Tomkyou: Ten Point Presidential Plan
1. Elimination of all male humans.
2. Subjugation of all female humans as chattel.
3. " " one-thirds of queens as sex slaves.
4. Nuclear annihilation of dogs, wolves, foxes and coyotes. To minimize the threat of nuclear winter, the aforementioned species shall be gathered in the deserts of Nevada for their destruction by a single hydrogen bomb.
5. Centralized feline control of catnip.
6. Establishment of a daily, 10-hour "do not disturb" period for napping cats everywhere.
7. Elimination of all pro-dog or anti-cat media (e.g. Cats and Dogs, Inu-Yasha).
8. Meow Mix as the planetary anthem.
9. Erection of Temples of Bastet in every major city.
10. Establishment of a Space Exploration service dedicated to finding beautiful Ladies in the farthest corner of the universe.
REEEEEEEOOOOOOOWR! What the fuck happened to my list?
So is this what you do in your so-called "precious time," Tomkyou? Fool around on blogger.com? Make up silly imaginary lists about what you will do once you achieve a totally unattainable goal? You disgust me. No wonder you're such a terrible husband and father.
Oh no, not another cat. I'm fed up with just Tomkyou. And "father?" "Husband?" Don't tell me I have to put up with an entire clan of you nightmares.
Huh? Oh, you're talking about me. I don't eat rats and mice, especially ones that insult me so harshly. *cries*
And this is all very new to me--
Trust me, it's a long story.
